Features, TNBO Experience

Who pays for what in a Yoruba wedding?

Who pays for what in a Yoruba wedding? I always hear it’s the bride’s family who shoulders the cost for the wedding. In reality though, I feel the family who has the larger crowd should pay for the majority of the wedding. Things have changed and people have moved on, the bride already loses her last name and identity to the grooms family, they are now expected to pay for the cost of the wedding. Do you know what type of financial burden that is? There’s no need hammering on about how expensive a wedding can be, hence a budgeting and division of costs amongst the families should be the first thing that is put in place.

I have a friend who really had issues with her in laws because they refused to pay a penny for the wedding of their child.  Knowing her parents pocket and how they could not afford to pay for everything she got really upset and told her fiancé that she can’t marry into a poor family who couldn’t afford to drop N10 their wedding. If not for the intervention of God and the bride’s father who decided to trust God and carry on as normal, I don’t think they would be married today.

For the sake of peace and the bride, her dad decided to pay for the wedding. The groom’s family were so hell-bent on tradition and they didn’t contribute a dime. On the day of the wedding they came, ate, drank and invited majority of the guests but didn’t pay a thing. Till this day both families do not get along.

Once you get that ring and you start planning don’t be naive in thinking the bill will be spilt 50/50, they always say when money is involved people reveal their true colours. Financial concerns are one of the most common sources of tension in relationships, discuss discuss and discuss. Don’t let the wedding ruin your marriage; remember it is about the marriage and not the wedding.

Yoruba tradition is not financially kind to the bride’s family who are expected to cover most of the costs for a wedding… For me it should be less about tradition and protocol, but rather, about circumstances, common sense and who can afford what. You dont want a situation where you are fighting with your husband on the wedding day, when they tell you to kiss you will now be doing like the couple in the video…. I wonder what pissed her off!

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