I’m an only child and from very young age my mother has been very controlling of me. To the glory of God my mum has a political appointment which means she is wealthy and can afford quite a few things. I recently got engaged; my fiancé and I wanted to get married in 2018 as we decided we wouldn’t get help from our parents because we wanted our wedding our way and we didn’t want to feel like we were at the mercy of anybody. My fiancé’s parents aren’t well to do, my fiance has a standard job and I work for my money so we are pretty much standard earners who need to save like everyone else.
When we announced our 2018 plans to our family, my mother insisted we bring the wedding forward and do it within 6 months’ time. Her reason was that we didn’t want to give the devil room to tempt us. We explained to her that we didn’t have enough to pay for a wedding to happen in 6 months and we were working too hard to save enough for next year. But my mother took no notice of our plans and just brushed it all aside and said we shouldn’t bother she will be paying for every single thing.
My fiancé was very uncomfortable with this suggestion (as expected) but my mother did not budge. Of course his typical traditional parents were happy that they didn’t have to bear any costs and they told him to be grateful. We reluctantly accepted the offer (not like we had much choice) and plans began to commence immediately.
The vendors of our choice were being rejected by mum; they were either not classy enough or not well-known. This went on for some time, anytime we suggested something she would ask for their Instagram handle to see how may followers they had or if she knew them. I bit my tongue a lot until last week, I will never forget that day.
We agreed that the wedding would be access by invitation only everyone was on the same page and we got access cards and invitations printed with strictly by invitation printed in bold. Last week I was scrolling through Facebook and I noticed my mother had put the invitation on her Facebook page. I immediately called her and asked her why she would do such a thing when it’s an invitation only event, anyone could get the invitation from online and decide to print it off.
For the rest of my life I will never forget her response, these were here exact words in a very harsh tone: If I’m paying for this wedding then I get to do what I want and I have the final say. After all it’s my wedding
I could not believe what I was hearing!!! How is this your wedding ma? Your wedding happened over 20 years ago. All I’ve heard her say to me is that I CANT I CANT I CANT & NO NO NO
So at this point I’m not sure if I should just tell her to keep her stinking money. Or if I should let her plan “HER” wedding and just be guests like everyone else.
My biggest fear is that her controlling our wedding will lead her to control our marriage and kids in the future. I really love my mum to bits but her controlling is starting to have an effect on my relationship with my fiancé and we are not even married yet!
Has anyone else had a parent try to take complete control over their wedding?