I want to keep it 100 in today’s post. I need some ladies to keep it 100 with me as well.
I know I’m ready for marriage, I have prayed, fasted, received confirmation, revelation everything. I have gone through deep RCCG counselling and I know deep down inside of me that I AM READY not only ready but ready with my hubby! But there’s a but…… as the wedding day draws nearer and nearer I’m feeling a sense of fear.
There are a host of questions that are currently running across my mind. The spiritual people will tell me it’s the devil. Society will tell me to run, because fear & doubt means “don’t”!
What I really want to know is, if this is a normal feeling. Have any brides gone through this phase. I’m a Christian but I’m also a realist. I’m having a “this is real and now I’m terrified, what if this is a mistake” moment. I’m strong enough to acknowledge and admit I’m feeling insecure, overwhelmed, terrified about making a life-long commitment.
What if my short comings are magnified during the marriage? What about when we argue, I can’t do styles for hubby anymore because we are in the same place. Unlike now that we are in two different countries, I can still get away with doing small shakara and decide not to talk to him for some time because we are not in each other’s face.
Or what if there comes a time he is hungry but I’m tired to cook, how do I handle that.
Even silly things like using the toilet….. Because my own toilet using smells, will he be put off?
Or submission, I believe in submission – we have been instructed by God and I’m ready for this HOWEVER me too I can be stubborn and It takes a lot for me to say sorry.
This feeling started to happen when I realised that July is in a few days, then my wedding would be in a month!! Suddenly, Just Like That, it hit me, the wedding is seriously happening.
I have no idea why I am having these thoughts or fears. Is this normal? For the longest time the wedding seemed so far away. Now all of a sudden it’s a quarter to July and the wedding is in August, I’m freaking out. What is wrong with me??
I was scared to talk to anyone in “real life” about this because I don’t want people to think I have cold feet.