Preparing to move back to a country and getting married at the same time can be overwhelming as I’m currently experiencing. Everyone tells you marriage is work, what about marriage and relocating at the same damn time, can that be classified as overtime
I just bought my one way ticket today and things got real, I never thought I would be calling up cargo and shipping companies to find out their price quotes.
Getting married in Nigeria and my hubby living in Nigeria kind of triggered my relocating decision. However way before I met him I had always wanted to move to Nigeria, so I guess everything just made sense. Whenever I’m in Nigeria on holiday, I could quite easily pull the IJGB (I just got back) card. The card that gains you access to being pampered, taken care off and treated like royalty. Beware though, that access card lasts for just about two weeks. After two weeks the charm starts to wear off and you become stale and get treated as a local, that’s when you know it’s time to pack your bags and bounce.
Now that I’m moving back on a more permanent basis, the IJGB stunt cannot be pulled and some fears have now been bought to the forefront. First thing first, I can’t speak my language properly although I understand very well; it takes effort for me to string a sentence together. Anytime I’m in Nigeria I always get laughed at because I can’t speak Yoruba and it really really annoys me. Another issue is I don’t know how to haggle, I don’t know how to go the market and buy food stuff, I’m used to purchasing everything from my local supermarkets or online. Local Nigerian dishes I don’t know how to cook, I can’t pound yam and I can’t make solid (Nigerian staple food). Growing up we never used to eat solids in my house so I never saw the point in learning how to make it.
Another thing I’m really thinking about is where I’ll be living. I’m not going to be living on the Island ( posh and more expensive part of Lagos, where everybody is either from abroad , rich or exposed with connections) so I can’t form IJGB; I’m on the mainland where Life is raw, real and manic. I have lived in a country all my life with a structure for so long that moving to Nigeria with no structure might put toil on the diva in me.
As I paid for my one way ticket to Lagos, I started to think about the reality of leaving a comfortable and stable environment to a place where there isn’t constant electricity, 24/7 traffic, water you cannot drink from the tap, the scorching heat, pretentious life style – but in spite of all these, there is something about Nigeria that grips ones heart and soul.
Moving oversees and not being close to my immediate family is another fear I have. What do I do if I feel alone and isolated? Someone told me to be prepared for family interference, people dropping by the house without prior notice. Offering visitors food when they come to see you rather than tea, coffee and scones… regular visitors from the village to our house
Sometimes I worry about the culture clash most especially because of my accent I sometimes felt discriminated. It can be frustrating when you are talking to locals and they don’t understand my English because of my British accent or they start mimicking my accent or say something like ‘Soni Yoruba’ (say it in Yoruba)
I’m a very open person, and I will be going to Nigeria as a Brit however I have chosen to adapt and embrace the culture and live as a Nigerian. I will learn the language and learn to cook the dishes however I no sabi enter Okada if traffic hold me down o!