Features, From Bride To Wife

HELP – How do I deal with Homesickness in marriage?

cry bride

I’m excited to get married; however one of my worries is when my family get back on the plane home. I know I’m going to cry like a big baby. I already know that the water works aren’t going to stop. I remember at my traditional wedding, the alaga told me to wave bye bye to my family and go and meet my new family. I had a massive lump in my throat and tears rolling down my cheeks.  Any time you make a big change, it takes a while to adjust, and that’s why I always like to prepare myself for situations. I spoke to a few of my friends who are married, to find out how they dealt with the syndrome – HOMESICKNESS.

My dear friend Kemi shared her experience with me, she too went through a phase of homesickness.

Right after the wedding, I would actually cry, every day I would cry, I cried so much that it started to cause tension between my husband and I, I didn’t care, I still cried and cried…and cried. LOL. I was experiencing homesickness. I missed my mum, I missed my siblings, I missed my house, I missed my family. I called my best friend when I was alone, I told her how homesick I was already and I didn’t want to be away from home.

But guess what, the feeling is really normal, it does get better, you just need to give yourself time. After accepting that this is my reality, I decided to make a change and embrace my new life. I started out by going over to my family house every day after work to see my parents & siblings, then every other day, and then weekly. I distracted myself and kept myself occupied by focussing on creating a new life and decorating the house how I liked it.

Here’s my advice – I think it’s very normal to feel sad and miss your family. After all you have been at home for over 20 years. It’s also good to acknowledge your feelings and not just be cranky about it.  I used to plan girls night with my mom and sister whenever my husband was not around.

Trust me you will get over the feeling soon enough. My other suggestion is to really make your impression on your new home – make it your dream house, instead of “his” house.  It’s your opportunity to decorate however you want.  And invite your family over, its fun being hostess in your own space.

You are not alone though – I have been there too!!! Good luck!!!

 

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