Hol up! Hol up! Hol up!! Attention!!
So… last night Bae and I had our first ‘wedding plan fight’ OMG! So I always heard that couples tend to fight a lot during the wedding planning stage for a number of reasons: Budget, vendors, family, food, honeymoon etc. But as usual naïve little moi thought ‘Nahh this would never happen to us’.
So where I’m from (Nigeria, Yoruba tribe to be precise) it’s the bride’s family who own the wedding. So that basically means whatever we decide, goes down!!
I think I’ve kind of become carried away and made a lot of decisions either without his knowledge or consent. So what triggered our beef last night???? *drum roll please* Location….Location…Location.
So basically, my side wants the traditional wedding to be where my family are from (North part of Nigeria) I kind of didn’t tell bae because I knew he wouldn’t be in support ( not that he really has a choice) and I didn’t tell him because I didn’t feel like it is my place to. So bae and his family live in Lagos which is about 6-8 hours’ drive from where we want to do the traditional wedding.
Bae feels like we are not putting his side into consideration, since they are coming down to our side a few months earlier for the introduction ceremony. He was also mad at me because I had initially told him we would do everything in Lagos, and now he is hearing (via slip of my mouth) that the trad will now take place in my hometown.
To be fair, I think they should count themselves lucky that my dad didn’t say we should do the wedding in London, what would they be saying then?
Me I have strong head oo, but when I calmed down and thought about everything, fighting over wedding plans can be viewed as a dress rehearsal for the inevitable power struggles that arise after a couple says, “I do.” Both the bride and groom-to-be have spent a lifetime putting their own needs first. All of a sudden each is expected to place more importance on the welfare and happiness of another human being — to exchange “I” for “we.”
I hear so many stories of people breaking up because of arguments during planning a wedding and always wonder how you could let something like planning a wedding break up what you once had to get to this point!!
Hmmm…. Have any brides experienced arguments with their fiancé? How did you sort it out? In the meantime I’m off to WhatsApp call my bae and apologise hehe!