TNBO Experience

Did you fight with your fiance during wedding plans?

fight

Hol up! Hol up! Hol up!! Attention!!

So… last night Bae and I had our first ‘wedding plan fight’ OMG! So I always heard that couples tend to fight a lot during the wedding planning stage for a number of reasons: Budget, vendors, family, food, honeymoon etc. But as usual naïve little moi thought ‘Nahh this would never happen to us’.

So where I’m from (Nigeria, Yoruba tribe to be precise) it’s the bride’s family who own the wedding. So that basically means whatever we decide, goes down!!

I think I’ve kind of become carried away and made a lot of decisions either without his knowledge or consent. So what triggered our beef last night????  *drum roll please* Location….Location…Location.

So basically, my side wants the traditional wedding to be where my family are from (North part of Nigeria) I kind of didn’t tell bae because I knew he wouldn’t be in support ( not that he really has a choice) and I didn’t tell him because I didn’t feel like it is my place to. So bae and his family live in Lagos which is about 6-8  hours’ drive from where we want to do the traditional wedding.

Bae feels like we are not putting his side into consideration, since they are coming down to our side a few months earlier for the introduction ceremony. He was also mad at me because I had initially told him we would do everything in Lagos, and now he is hearing (via slip of my mouth) that the trad will now take place in my hometown.

To be fair, I think they should count themselves lucky that my dad didn’t say we should do the wedding in London, what would they be saying then?

Me I have strong head oo, but when I calmed down and thought about everything, fighting over wedding plans can be viewed as a dress rehearsal for the inevitable power struggles that arise after a couple says, “I do.” Both the bride and groom-to-be have spent a lifetime putting their own needs first. All of a sudden each is expected to place more importance on the welfare and happiness of another human being — to exchange “I” for “we.”

I hear so many stories of people breaking up because of arguments during planning a wedding and always wonder how you could let something like planning a wedding break up what you once had to get to this point!!

Hmmm…. Have any brides experienced arguments with their fiancé? How did you sort it out? In the meantime I’m off to WhatsApp call my bae and apologise hehe!

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6 thoughts on “Did you fight with your fiance during wedding plans?

  1. Our wedding planning process just started, but we had lots of fight during the planning of the introduction. His family wanted to come in their numbers and I just don’t want to have that. I really wanted the living room kind of introduction. Well…..I didn’t get it. It happened under a canopy in my family house compound. Our court wedding is coming up and yes, we fought over the choice of dress that I wanted to wear. I had my way, I’ll still wear the dress. Lol.

  2. We fought alot during planning stage mainly because of tradition stuff. My hubby is U.S born and raised though Nigerian and isn’t familiar with alot of traditional stuff. So whenever something came up his people based here liked to over blow it and he’d think it was unreasonable or unfair lol. Plus with him not being around for most of the planing alot was misunderstood. But we talked it over and kept telling ourselves to let things go it’s temporary and all this was just so we could finally have our forever. So it helped knowing it was a learning platform and transitional.

  3. Gosh, This post makes me feel better. I told My Fiance yesterday that i was drained and tired of talking about the planning with him, I think i was already becoming a Bridezilla. I prayed to God for wisdom and decided not to be too involved with planning anymore. Moreover its just a day. so right now i’m giving it up to my mom, mom in law and planner who will keep me update. (Lol hopefully i don’t go back on my words soon )

    1. Haha…. the break is always needed. Last week I got so tired of the word wedding I snapped at anyone who mentioned it. Take it easy and renember you can always take a back seat

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