From Bride To Wife, TNBO Experience

After You Say I Do……

 

A church member asked me a random question after church one day. She said “If you really wanted to buy something for example a new car and you told your husband about it but he couldn’t afford it at that point in time but you could, what would you do? I responded I will buy it noni; no time to check time, what’s mine is his!

She exclaimed ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT, you don’t do that. Men have ego and that kind of behaviour can potentially start issues. If you want to buy something and your husband can’t afford it, you wait for him to be financially able to provide as the man of the house, sounds foolish but it works’

I am the first fruit of my parents and I have two younger siblings, it has always been easy for me to take the role of protector, and provider to my siblings, a trait which has caused them to often praise me and attribute me to being the best sister in the whole world. What they see as me being the best sister in the world can potentially be seen as an act of war in my marriage. Most wives will say they want their husbands to be the leaders in their homes, but often they don’t know when to back off and actually let them lead.

This got me thinking about a quote I heard at a wedding recently ‘marriage is the only institution where you get a certificate before you begin the course’……

Yesterday I went for lunch with a friend who got married last year, this was our first hang out after the wedding and we wanted to catch up. As we ordered food I noticed she was not wearing her wedding ring. I asked her where her ring was and she just broke down, she started talking about how the past 12 months have been major hell for her. She confessed that she was so occupied with wedding planning that she and her husband didn’t take time out to actually prepare for the marriage. A day after the wedding she felt like she was living with a stranger she didn’t know him the way she should have before saying I DO. She didn’t prepare herself before saying I DO, she didn’t work on herself before saying I DO.

She didn’t know how to submit, she didn’t know how to be patient, she didn’t know what to do….people that helped her hype her wedding, guests who came to the wedding, her wedding planner and bridesmaids had left, it was now her and her husband in a big house and she didn’t know what to do. She told me she used to cry herself to sleep they would fight about the silliest things; they never agreed on anything and started hating each other. She’s been living in her mum’s house for the past 3 months.

I decided to create a new thread on the blog to offer advice, tips and real life experiences from newlyweds and couples who have been married for a while

Ladies, I present the new segment “From Bride to Wife”

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